Misery
by Atomic Misfit
Summary: As I was walking past the windows towards the barn, I happened to glance in through one of them, and saw the sight of Mellisa kissing Wren. My stomach flipped upside down and I felt like throwing up. Why couldn't she kiss me like that? Warning: INCEST


Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars

Things were ticking along quite greatly. In fact, I'd say that all the bad stuff that's been happening these past few months have been _wonderful_.

Please note the sarcasm.

For example: Mom and Dad had not only been mad when they found out the history paper I turned in was actually stolen from Mellisa and nominated for a national award. But livid when they also came to realize that I was the reason Mellisa and Wren broke off their engagement (they had only screamed at me for hours on end; telling me how angry and disappointed they were).

For example: Aria, Emily, Hanna, and I still haven't found out who "A" is.

For example: Mellisa told me she hates my guts, never wants to talk to me again, and at any chance she gets she glares death beams my way.

For example: I have come to find out that I am totally, uncontrollably in love with my _sister_.

Before I go off and rant about my problems I think maybe you should know some things about me. If you knew these things about me, you might actually care about them. But of course, looking at what I just said, you know quite a lot already, or at least you could have guessed a lot of it. You could have guessed that my mom and dad only expect the best from my sister and me, for a start, unless you thought that my parents were okay with me to going around stealing other peoples history papers. You could have guessed that "A" was someone we didn't know. You could have guessed that Mellisa was angry with me because I was the one who ruined her engagement, and that would in turn make her hate my guts.

And you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes or whatever to work out that Melissa was the sister that I had fallen in love with. So I'm glad that there are something's you don't know and can't guess, but are trying very hard to understand. That way I don't have to worry that I'm not an incredibly complicated and intriguing person, ha ha.

Anyway, back to me being in love with my sister, I mean I don't possible know how this could have happened. I'm not, y'know a…a les-…I'm not gay! I am Spencer Hastings, a classic overachiever who is popular, has taken up an awesome internship, does charity work, plays field hockey and has great friends. But I am not-can not- _be_ a lesbian! So I was totally blown clear out of the water when I come to realize these feelings I'm feeling for my sister are anything but sisterly.

If I'm going to tell you this story properly, without trying to hide things, then there's something I should own up to, because it's important. Here's the thing. I know it sounds bad and completely wrong, and I'm not this sort of person usually, honest. But this-these _feelings_ were just something that started happening; I couldn't stop them, and… never mind. I'll just say it, and you can think what you want.

I deliberately try to sabotage my sisters relationships because I'm jealous of the men that get to be with her.

Yeah, I know, some of you, most likely all of you are shaking your head and thinking the worst about me. I probably deserve it and I don't want to sound pathetic, and I really don't want you to feel sorry for me, but the thought of losing my sister to these stupid, inadequate excuse for men, was tearing me up inside.

Does this sound silly to you? It probably does, but I don't really care. I don't want to lose my sister, and yeah so maybe our relationship isn't all sugary and sweet, but that doesn't mean I don't wish it was.

First off, before we go on, this mess started at the end of the summer, when Mellisa brought home Wren, and she decided they had to stay in the barn behind our house. The barn I made into a loft, and was going to move into, but of course Mellisa overruled that.

Let me tell you now, just so you know, Mellisa has and always will get what she wants.

* * *

><p>That afternoon I happened to look out my window and see them moving around in the barn. Before I understood what was happening, my feet carried me down stairs and outside. Mellisa walked outside and we began to walk towards each other, a smile already beginning to form without thought.<p>

"Hey," I began, folding my arms across my chest. "What d'you think?"

"I absolutely love it," she said finally coming to a stop before me.

"Thank you." God, I was blushing, and all she did was compliment the little work I did.

"Honestly, when Mom said you were converting the barn to a loft, I couldn't see it," she smiled softly with a hint of amusement in her voice. "But, job well done."

"Well I'm glad you like it."

"And I totally appreciate you letting us move in."

"What?" Whoa, whoa, whoa, _what? _

Mellisa looked confused for a second before she responded, "Wren and I are staying in the barn while we're redoing my place in the city."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Mellisa and Wren were staying in the barn when I was about to move into it! I suddenly had this picture of Mellisa sweet talking Mom into letting her and her boy toy stay in the barn. Our mom wasn't the best of judges, since she always gave into what Mellisa wanted, while leaving me to suffer the consequences.

"No-I'm moving in for junior year Mellisa, that's the deal I made with Mom and Dad, I-I got the grades, I did the internship, I gave up my summer because _I_ wanted this."

"Well," she said shrugging. "You'll just have to wait."

I wasn't letting this go, I was the one who worked hard for this, and all she does is bat her eyes at Mom and Dad and they suddenly gives this to her.

"Why can't you stay in my room?"

"We're a couple Spencer, we need our own space, and Mom and Dad agree," she said to me as if I was a small child. Couldn't she see that I wanted the barn for myself? Why not for once can't I have things go my way?

"But they promised me."

At that moment I heard footsteps walking towards us out from inside the barn and a guy in a blue sweater and khaki pants began striding over to stand next to Mellisa.

"Is everything okay?" he asked hesitantly, as if he only now noticed the tension between the two of us. He slowly glanced back and forth before his eyes landed on me. "Hi," he smiled, "I'm Wren."

Now that he was finally in front of me, I could see he was tall, dark, and had brown hair that with a smidge too long. He was strikingly handsome, with the sort of sculpted cheekbones and angular features that you couldn't help but notice. Well Mellisa, you sure know how to pick 'em.

Mellisa smiled and grabbed onto his arm; my eyes narrowing on their own accord at the sight.

"I was hoping you'd be happy for me," she said in a low voice. Wren gave a sideway look at her. He didn't understand what she was saying to me.

Happy for you? Why should I be happy when you do things like this to me? _Why _do you do things like this to me?

"Well you know what they say about hope," I shook my head and gave her a sardonic smile. "It breeds eternal misery." I walked away with an empty feeling. She always does this and never questions whether it hurts the ones around her. And I was sick of it.

* * *

><p>Here's the other thing I wanted to say. It takes a lot of work to be perfect. If you didn't want to break a sweat, then there was no point even bothering.<p>

Mellisa knew perfect. She was perfect. Unlike most people, for her it wasn't just some distant horizon you couldn't reach. For Mellisa, perfect was just over the next hill, close enough to make out the landscape and touch the beginning of it. And it wasn't a place where she would just visit, no, it was where she lived.

When she was in high school she was the all-state math champion, head of the debate team, held the highest GPA in her class (she had been taking AP classes since middle school, college classes since tenth). She was elected student body president for three years running, became implemented in districts around the country, was fluent in three different languages; Spanish, French, and German. But she didn't just have academics under her belt. Mellisa was also great at Tennis and Soccer (she achieved Varsity Captain in both), she practiced yoga, and tutored kids on some weekends. Anything she did, she did well.

A lot of people might find this incredibly annoying, even loathsome, trust me I do. Only because I am a Hastings and a Hasting must always do well (as my father would preach). Thus it is I that has to follow in her footsteps because she's the Golden Child and I could only hope to do as great a job in life as she's done so far.

* * *

><p>Later on that night, I grabbed my way overused copy of '<em>To Kill a Mockingbird' <em>and walked out onto a back patio. I sat down in one of the wooden chairs, leaned against one arm and threw my legs up over the other. I sighed and began to read: _I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do._

I looked up when I heard the backdoor open, and saw Wren walk out smoking a cigarette. He didn't seem to notice me, until I cleared my throat and his head snapped towards my direction. He leaned over one of our flower pots, brought the cigarette down and put it out in the dirt.

"Shouldn't you know better?" I asked placing my book down; raising my brow. "You are a med student right?"

Wren leaned back up, put his hands in his pockets and turned to face me. He smiled thoughtfully, "You're a bit of a smart ass, aren't you?" He was being playful; something you rarely saw in one of Mellisa's boyfriends. If I really thought about it, Wren was way different than any of the boyfriends I had met.

He was different and I liked that.

But don't get me wrong, I may have liked _him_, but I didn't like that he was _dating _my sister.

"A bit?" I grinned. We spent a few seconds in silence before I succumbed and asked. "So… does my sister know you smoke?"

Wren tilted his head to the side before shrugging, "Does she have to know everything?"

I glanced back down at my book, as if somehow, the words there would suddenly form together into something I could relate to. I could feel Wren watching me, not unkindly, just waiting for me to contribute.

I sighed and sat up in the chair. "You're not like Mellisa's usual boyfriends."

He looked at me questionably, while shuffling his feet.

"How am I unusual?"

"I…" I said finally, glancing at him, but stopping, the words sticking. I swallowed, then started over. "We're late for dinner." I stood up and headed for the door but stopped as I stood at his side. "I actually like you, that's what's unusual."

I picked up my pace and headed inside.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up to light streaming in through my window. I sighed and glanced at the clock sitting on my bedside table. 7:43, hmm, I slept in a little later than usual. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I sat up, then quickly threw the covers off me and got out of bed.<p>

After I cleaned up in the bathroom, I decided I was in need of a little relaxation from all the stress I had and heading out to relax in the barn's Jacuzzi sounded like a fantastic idea. Putting on my bikini and grabbing a towel, I headed downstairs and into the kitchen. In the fridge there was can of juice, to which I grabbed and set on the counter.

Wren happened to choose that particular instant to walk in through the backdoor. He was also sporting a pair of swim trunks, and he was dripping wet.

He saw me and grinned. "Perfect time for a Jacuzzi, huh?"

I was momentarily confused, I mean why was he here? And why was he using our Jacuzzi? Wasn't he suppose to be at Mellisa's apartment?

"I thought you guys weren't moving in until next week?"

"Mellisa wanted to get settled in before classes start."

So where _is_ Mellisa? Was she bathing in the Jacuzzi too? …wearing that tight little brown bathing suit that barely covers her- what in God's name am I thinking? This is my sister we're talking about! I can't think about her like that. Thinking about how her trim sun kissed body would look with water cascading down her stomach and NO, NO, NO. STOP. Stop thinking and breathe.

"You wouldn't happen to have a towel would you?" Wren asked with amusement. A towel? What is he talki- oh a _towel_. He was still wet, of course. I grabbed the one hanging on my shoulder and threw it to him. He snatched it up and began drying himself off.

Coming out of my thoughts, I leaned up against the counter, and began rubbing my shoulder. I sighed, it seemed that practice was a little rougher than usual this week. And I began to feel its effects, the painful effects.

"Are you okay?" he softly asked breaking the silence that had swept over the room. He glanced down to the hand that I was using for my shoulder.

"Oh, yeah," I smiled sheepishly. "just a tough field hockey practice."

"Really? I rode for Oxford." he set the towel on the island and walked closer to me. Oxford huh?

"Oh, well that looks good on a med school app."

"I did it because I loved it." he said with seriousness. I smiled and nodded my head while he started at me.

After that moment he began to walk around behind me and replaced my hand with his own.

"You probably have a fluid build-up in your bursa sack."

"I bet you say that to all the girls." I turn and say to him grinning. He chuckled and raised his hands up.

"I can help." I slowly nodded, giving him the go ahead. Wren placed both of his hands in the middle of my shoulders and began to press and rub his fingers in a circle.

"Mmm, that's awesome."

Wow… pretty boy actually has some skills. I tilted my to the forward giving him more room, and closing my eyes in the process. With every move of his fingers, the stress began to vanish. Slowly but surely he was massaging and I didn't want him to stop; I hadn't had a message in ages and I was beginning to miss the feelings of total relaxation that come with them.

"Wren?"

Broken out of my thoughts, I felt Wren quickly drop his hands and turn to face the archway to the kitchen, thats when I decided I didn't need to stick around for Mellisa to find us in this stance, so I grabbed up my towel and got out of there as fast as I could.

As I was walking past the windows towards the barn, I happened to glance in through one of them, and saw the sight of Mellisa kissing Wren. My stomach flipped upside down and I felt like throwing up.

Why could't she kiss _me _like that?

At that thought I gasped and lost my balance.

* * *

><p>The next few days I couldn't sleep, I only tossed and turned in my bed. The house was quite and the silence helped me think. But I didn't want to <em>think<em>. Because thinking led me to think of Mellisa and that brought on feelings I couldn't handle. Feelings and thoughts that I couldn't comprehend.

I pulled the covers up to my neck and clutched them protectively against myself. I figured they would help protect me from my raging emotions, because I was hoping to calm myself and not worry about things at the same time.

But..._why did it have to be her_?

Spencer. Stop, right now. Stop thinking.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking of her. How when she walked her hips were hypnotizing. How when she talked I could help but be drawn to her voice. How when she looked my way for whatever reason I couldn't help but look back. How when she stood near I always breathed deeply to smell her scent. How when she laughed my heart started to race and my stomach soared.

God, why, why did I have to _fall in love _with Mellisa?

There was a stinging in my eyes and I realized I was crying. I couldn't help it and I couldn't stop it.

And without my permission the tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

* * *

><p>Read and Review.<p>

-Atomic Misfit


End file.
